At the Polls

There are primaries in Alabama today. I will be voting in the Republican one because I want to cast a vote against Roy Moore. So, I will actually be voting for current governor, Bob Riley. I actually kind of like old Bob. He went against his party to introduce an initiative that would really help Alabama schools, and, in general, he seems pretty moderate which is all I can really ask for these days. Anyway, I was all good with this decision until I saw one of his campaign commercials the other night. Now, in said commercial, Bob Riley's team reminded voters how many jobs Riley had brought to the state, what a great guy he was, blah blah blah. Then, they said, and I'm quoting loosely here, that Bob had reclaimed the state from the "liberals that ran it before." Now, I don't know how I could have missed this, but when exactly did liberals run the state of Alabama? Was it during all of that "segregation forever" talk? You know, back in the days when Southerners had their own branch of the Democratic party because they couldn't be Republicans (after all, they freed slaves), but they couldn't be Democrats because of their crazy, progressive ideas like ending "separate but equal"? Maybe it was when Alabama brought back chain gangs? Yes, chain gangs certainly seem like a liberal idea. Was it when that abortion ban was introduced? Or during the times our capital punishment programs were running so efficiently? What about those years they let George Wallace back into the governor's office even though he had disgraced and embarrassed the state? Seriously, when was Alabama run by liberals?!?! Don Siegelman doesn't count. After all, he's currently under indictment with Richard Scrushy. And, if he's a real liberal, well then I'm hoping Chad Michael Murray will finally get that Emmy nod he so richly deserves. Did those happen during those years I went away to college? Sure, the spring before I left I was still supposed to pray with the opposing soccer team on the field before a game, but I guess things really got crazy once I was gone. What was it like then? Did dry counties stop enforcing their laws? Were there regular gay pride parades? Did poor people actually get considered before legislation was drafted? The only answer I could come up with for this fanciful time when liberals were is charge was Military Reconstruction. That is, after all, when Southerners were forced to answer to Northerners. Sure, it was in the name of ending racially motivated violence and oppression, but, still, Northerners? Yankees even? It must have been tough.