It's All in the Name

So, the other day I was trying to kill time in between a meeting with the graduate school and the opening of the Chick-Fil-A in UAB's campus center. As such, I wandered into the UAB bookstore. While I was looking through scores of t-shirts and clearance priced greeting cards, I came upon the personalized mug section. Now, for obvious reasons, I never have any luck in the personalized section of any store. There is always a Laura and a Lauren, sometimes even a Laurie, but never a Laurel. Nevertheless, I stopped anyway. It was then that I discovered the UAB bookstore doesn't even have a Lauren mug. There's no David, or Michael, or even a Sarah. However, there is an Andienne. Does anyone know what an Andienne is? I had never heard that name before. I even checked the UAB campus directory - there are no Andiennes here. And, as near as I can tell, there are no Andiennes in the world unless someone has misspelled the name Adrienne. I even googled it. There was an ad for Andienne Vitadini products on e-bay (further proof of my theory) and the stats for an unfortunate female soccer player from Bloomsburg who I can only imagine to be the product of illiterate parents. Then, as if Andienne wasn't bad enough, I stumbled upon the Kizzy mug. Again, has anyone ever heard of a Kizzy? Where could that possibly come from? (Excluding the aforementioned possibility of illiterates.) Who thought it was a sound business decision to mass produce mugs with Andienne and Kizzy on them? At least I've heard of other Laurels. We exist. Does Kizzy? In the interest of that, I found that there is 1 Kizzy at UAB. She's in public administration. I don't know what she takes her coffee in in the morning though because her mug is still waiting for her at the bookstore. I also discovered that a man who looks strangely like Yanni has fathered a child named Kizzy somewhere in the U.S. and given her her own website. Check out www.kizzy.net if you dare. I'll warn you that some of the photos are from this child's naming day as if the parents are actually proud of what they've done to this poor baby. I was worried that without a picture, I would not be believed. (You also might notice Karl with a "k" in the background.)