Distractions

I feel like I had all of these important (or, at least, important to me) things to write about today, but then I made the mistake of watching the Ellen show before coming in to work. (Not that it's generally a mistake to watch the Ellen show, because it isn't. She's damn funny. We can all use some dancing now and then.) But, I digress, you see Nick Lachey was on Ellen in a "rare daytime interview" (which I need to know more about because what else does Nick Lachey have to do during the day? Why is this so rare and special? Does Nick Lachey even get a lot of interviews? Other than the stuff with Ok! and Star where he takes off his shirt or talks about how he married a virgin? I mean, when did Nick get to be such a huge recording star that's he too good for daytime? After all, Mr. Lachey, Dolly Parton and Martin Sheen can give daytime interviews, and you are in no way better than Dolly or Martin. Plus, I watched "Newlyweds," I know that Nick spends most of his days watching basketball and drinking with his brother, Drew. There's no fooling me as to how packed his social/professional calendar is. All I'm saying is let's call a spade a spade. Nick Lachey is not too good for daytime TV.) Well, I was settling in to watch Nick sing - in one of his typically much too shiny button down shirts for that matter - when something very strange happened. Nick was on stage. The lights were low. Everyone was getting ready for the baring of his soul. Ellen was taking a moment. And, then they played the wind chimes. Yes, wind chimes. Now, of course there's a much more technical and musically correct term for said wind chimes, but I don't care. (We still know what I'm talking about - metal tubes hung at various lengths that are strummed by a wand.) Whatever, the term is, I'm just bothered by their very existence. Nick Lachey - you are not Neil Young. I don't even think you want to be Neil Young or know who he is. Also, this is not the 1970s. Unless you are preparing to tell us a sweeping tale of lost love and the Vietnam War, you should leave wind chimes out of your music. They just don't belong. And, really, I know you had plenty of problems with old Joe Simpson during the course of your marriage, but I think it's still ok to consult him from time to time. I know he wouldn't have green lighted the wind chime idea.