More on Reality TV

Late Saturday night/Sunday morning, I finally discovered "Project Runway" for myself. I don't know what took me so long to jump on the Heidi Klum bandwagon, but at least I'm there now. And, in light of my new discovery, I have to share my favorite moments from the last episode. For those of you who missed it, the designers were tasked with creating a woman's wear outfit primarily based around a "story" and a dog that was considered not only another entity to design for but also an accessory. (I use "story" incredibly loosely because while Heidi insisted each designer craft a tale around their outfit, as an English major and creative writing person, I think something was lost in the German to English translation.) At the end of the program, each designer unveiled their human and dog outfits while Heidi, Vera Wang, that lady from Elle magazine, and Ivanka Trump took note. The winner was a lovely blonde girl whose name I don't know. She designed a very pretty patterned halter dress with great accessories, including a chunky necklace and jacket. I take no issue with her outfit. My problem arose when Heidi asked for her "story." Lovely blonde aspiring designer said something like, "You know, she's a fabulous girl. She's very hip. And she's on her way to lunch with her other fabulous girlfriends before they all go out to have lots of fun and live the rest of their fabulous lives." Is this really a story? Really? If so, I'd like to know the plot. I'd also like to know the beginning, middle, and end. (Other than, of course, being on her way to lunch, lunching, and then drinking after lunch.) It seems to me that it would be much more appropriate to call this a "description" rather than a "story." Where's the twist? Where's the character development? What changes from the beginning to the end? But, my favorite part was when Ivanka Trump chimed in with, "You know, I really love this outfit. I would wear it. But, what really gets me is the story. I find it so easy to relate to." And, there you have it people - Ivanka Trump relates to ladies who lunch. When will the audacious revelations stop? Who knew "Project Runway" had so much to show the world? (And, by "the world," I mean the audience of Bravo network which is primarily composed of stylish gay men, various metrosexuals, and those of us who love James Lipton - basically, half the population of Remlap, Alabama.) (Also, as another side note, I once took a class with Ivanka Trump while she was at Georgetown, before she transferred to the University of Pennsylvania. The class was "Social Inequality." I don't think there's any need to make a joke when the truth is so rich.) Well, lovely blonde girl won the challenge while Angela (who is distinguished by having lots of brown hair and small glasses) and another designer were revealed to have the 2 worst scores. Angela is my least favorite of the designers, mainly because of her attitude, and when asked about her story, she said something along the lines of, "I was thinking of a British headmaster who runs an art camp in Paris." Huh?!?! First of all, if you're going to give a character a particular nationality, there needs to be a reason. Deciding you're going to have a British headmaster only to place her in Paris makes absolutely no sense. And, why would a headmaster be teaching an art camp? Isn't she more of an administrator than a watercolor instructor? (While this may seem silly, I fully believe that all stories should have relatively reasonable explanations for actions and turns of events. I don't appreciate it when a writer in a fiction workshop comes up with a 15 page short story about a child who runs away from home, encounters a clown who wants to rob banks, meets a vagabond former lawyer who talks to her about going back to school, and ends up living with a mechanic above a bakery, so why would I enjoy Angela's nonsensical description?) I also have a point of contention in the fact that Angela's supposed "British schoolmaster" outfit involved fishnet stockings, a bunched mini skirt, and a cleavage-bearing, low cut, silver top. Here's where I completely agree with Ivanka: I have no idea how Angela crafted a "story" about a British teacher that ended up with clothing that looked much more appropriate for a "street-walker." But, still, even after last week's poor team performance, Angela was "in" while other designer was the one to be "out." Then again, maybe Heidi knew what she was doing. Now, I have to tune in this week not only to see who completely broke the "Project Runway" rules, but also to hope that Angela gets the boot. (No pun intended.)