Lunch Hour

On Friday, a co-worker and I had lunch at a place called "China Hut," and, as I'm sure you've already figured out, it was indeed a Chinese restaurant. Lunch was good. And, of course, I always love being able to eat soup, an eggroll, some cashew chicken, and fried rice for under $5.00. In fact, my only complaint about the whole experience was how it ended. Truth be told, I love fortune cookies. Obviously, it's not for the taste because we all know that fortune cookies kind of taste like crap and have a truly surprising number of calories for what you're actually getting, but I just love knowing that a new little saying or bit of info is waiting for me. It's the same reason I read my horoscope everyday - it gives me a nice little rush of hope and excitement to think about what might lie ahead. It's not that I think my fortune will come true, but I like thinking about whether or not I'll meet someone that day or week or how much fun I might have that weekend. Plus, the really self-involved part of me likes reading that I am "adored by those who know me" or that my "charm wins many friends." I'll take a compliment from anywhere I can get it and, sadly enough, that even includes inanimate bits of dough. However, when I cracked open my fortune cookie on Friday, I found the following words of wisdom inside: You love Chinese food. What is going on fortune cookie writers!?!? I mean, seriously, I don't care how bad your day was or how burned out you were on scouring google for things that Confucius said - this is just pathetic. First of all, it certainly can't fall under the heading of a "fortune." What am I supposed to do with the fact that I love Chinese food? Look forward to knowing I'll eat more Chinese food at some point in my life? Was I supposed to realize that I didn't just like Chinese food, but I really was ready and willing to take our relationship to the next level and bump our infatuation up to the love stage? (Sure, I can make a commitment like that to burritos, but Chinese food? I just don't know.) I sincerely doubt that my fortune cookie writer put that much time and effort into considering the angle of my fortune, but even if he did, it still sucks. But, perhaps, more importantly, it's not even a stretch. We are definitely in the "stating the obvious" territory. Would I be eating a fortune cookie if I weren't in a Chinese restaurant? No. Would I have driven to the Chinese restaurant if I didn't like Chinese food? Probably not. Would I be willing to put the cardboard-like cookie in my mouth if I was indifferent about the taste of the food? I think not. And, I realize that when I address "fortune cookie writers," I'm probably talking about a soon-to-be-revealed illegal child labor ring or some sort of other horrible third world working condition, but I need a little more thought and creativity in my fortunes. And, isn't any job worth doing, worth doing well? Is this really so much to ask? Let's try a little harder kids. I know you can do better.