You've Really Got to Think About who that Babysitter Is

This past Friday, I went to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate my baby cousin's birthday. Chuck E. Cheese was pretty much as I remembered it - screaming children, loud bells and whistles, the ever present smell of pizza, and a wandering mascot. But, there were 3 major differences from the play land I knew as a child: 1. There is no more animatronic band. Yep, it seems that the "Showbiz Players" (or whatever they were called) have disappeared. There is no cuddly bear, no mouse cheerleader, no tambourine. Instead, there's just one large Chuck E. Cheese who occasionally moves about. And, even though the logical part of me knows that I was terrified of the animatronic band and all of its mechanical gyrations, I still missed it. (Although this probably comes as no surprise to anyone, many aspects of Chuck E. Cheese scared me as a child. I was also nervous about the ball pit. I was convinced that there either was no bottom or that it was like getting into the deep end of the pool, and I would somehow end up drowning in the ball pit, and they would find my poor little body tucked just beneath the surface with a large red plastic ball trapped in my still open, I-was-trying-to-scream mouth. Needless to say, that was not how I wanted to go.) Plus, with no animatronic band, there is more time to broadcast poorly done music videos starring struggling character actors as furry creatures, and I fully believe the band is the lesser of those 2 evils. 2. It seems a whole lot easier to earn tickets. Now, it may be that it was always pretty simple to win tickets, but because I was a kid it seemed really hard. Sure, that could be the explanation. (And, sure, my trouble with tickets could have had a lot to do with my lack of coordination and fear of many games...) But, based on how many 6 year olds I saw wandering around with their hands full of big prizes, I think they've just made the games easier. I, for one, am disappointed. We've got to remember to challenge our children. And, even though Chuck E. Cheese is supposed to be a "happy place," a little strife never hurt anybody. Or, maybe, it does hurt, but that's how we get artists, great novelists, and ministers. I'm just asking for a few more hurdles; it's good for growth. 3. I noticed what I've decided to call "the hidden danger" of Chuck E. Cheese. Lots of children were brought by their grandparents. At first glance, this would seem lovely. The kids are spending time with their grandparents, this is a special activity for the kids, and everyone is having a good time. However, once you dig beneath the surface, something more sinister rears its ugly head. I saw one Grandma standing next to her grandson and feeding him token after token while repeating, almost mantra-like, the phrase, "Get the bonus, Baby. Get the bonus." And, that's when I realized that when Grandma isn't at Chuck E. Cheese, she's on the bus from the senior center down to the casino with a bucket of quarters in her lap. Grandma loves the slots, and she's probably turning poor Bobby into a slots-lover too even though he's at least 12 years away from being able to gamble legally. When they go home, Grandma probably only lets her grandson watch PBS or the celebrity poker tournament because she can be sure there won't be too much sex or violence on either of those. Little Bobby is learning to love risk, and he doesn't even know it. That's right, people - Chuck E. Cheese isn't just a wonderland of games and lights, it's a training ground for the future gamblers of the world. Let's get the word out, so this "hidden danger" won't be kept in the dark anymore.