Hello 2007!

I apologize for my lack of recent posts. Between the holidays and a massive head cold, I've been sidelined for a little while. And, unfortunately, when I get sick, it usually means that it is nearly impossible for me to have a funny and/or interesting thought. (In fact, I can always tell I'm getting sick because I start to have the most mundane and monotonous dreams in the world. Before I got the flu my senior year of high school, I dreamed about walking to the mailbox to check the mail over and over and over again. It was pretty mind-numbing and apparently the sign of oncoming fever and chills.) My planned activity for the evening is to rest and use my new sweater shaver to get rid of the pills on my winter wear. Worse yet, I'm excited about it and thought about it for the better half of my work day. This sickness is obviously physical and mental. But, in light of the timing, I thought I would share my New Year's resolutions for 2007. Don't expect to find anything about diet or exercise here. I believe in aiming low. It's easier to succeed that way and better for the self-esteem. I prefer attainable goals. 1. I must stop using the phrase "I'm not going to lie." Normally I say this before I make some sort of mildly outrageous/amusing confession like that I really like the show "Yes, Dear" or that I hate saying the word croissant out loud. But, this is not a good joke. I know it's not a good joke. In the back of my head, whenever I start to say, "I'm not going to lie," I find myself thinking, "Dear God, why am I doing that again? Enough already." Seriously, if I'm this tired of my own catch phrase, I know other people must be too. I must ban these words from my speech. ASAP. 2. I will clean out my purses on a regular basis. Now, a lot of people probably think that this doesn't sound very difficult. However, most people probably haven't peered inside my purse to gape at the sea of old receipts, napkins, pixie stick dust, and melted chocolate. I could take up decoupage just to have something to do with all of the receipts I have. (Although, upon further thought, it's probably better to have too many receipts rather than a sea of paper mache woodland creatures crafted from my bar tabs. That path probably only leads to a state run institution and a diet constituted only of soft foods.) To take it slightly further, I might try balancing my checkbook. Might. 3. No more Krispy Kreme chocolate glazed, creme filled donuts. (Especially after 2 a.m.) I don't care how many I can have for free when I buy two dozen at once. It's been highly detrimental to my figure. I guess we'll see how it goes. After all, I am a pretty strong creature of habit. (Hence my twenty-plus year devotion to soap operas despite years of education and intense mockery by my peers.) But, not carrying through on that first one is probably going to cost me some friends, so it will definitely remain the top priority. Happy New Year to all!