Life Crisis

I never thought I'd say this, but I think I may have watched too much "Quantum Leap" lately. I know, I know, I didn't think it could happen either, but I believe my love of Dr. Sam Beckett's adventures through time may be affecting my ability to make decisions. You see, if Dr. Beckett really is "putting right what once went wrong" by changing one event in people's lives, that means we all have 1 pivotal moment in time when we can either succeed or fail miserably. Now, with some of the episodes, I can see the big moment - one should not turn tricks because the rent is late, posing naked for a sleazy photographer in the midst of the "Miss Deep South" beauty pageant is bad, if someone is trying to kill you, calling and telling someone about your every move - even if that person is a "friend"- usually doesn't work out well, etc. And, some of these life-changing moments are just based on the fact that Sam has more information than anyone else - stopping serial killers, saving people from falls off large rock formations in national parks, figuring out that the creepy albino maid has more up her sleeve than just good disinfectant products... But, it's the simpler ones that get to me - a well-timed kiss to reunite exes, taking one job over another, telling a young "Stevie" King that he should write scary novels...What if I don't see these moments?!?! What if I miss the tiny cue that keeps me from being buried alive in a silo or spending my life surrounded by cats and well-meaning relatives who use me as a cautionary tale of how not to end up a spinster? Of course, the fact that I'm job searching right now (and, oh yeah, have an anxiety disorder) isn't helping either. As sad as it is to say, I may have to stop watching "Quantum Leap" for awhile. But, then I remember how much I learn from the show. Just the other day, in the "Private Dancer" episode, Sam taught me how to say "Quantum Leap" in sign language because as a male stripper named "Rod the Bod" he was trying to help a young deaf girl become a professional dancer rather than spending her life as a prostitute. Now, if I ever meet a deaf person, I can quickly discern whether or not he or she is also a sci-fi geek, and, since the only other sign language I know is the first half of the alphabet, we can embrace over our common bond while I repeatedly spell words like "cab" and make horribly interesting statements like "ab bad" (to denote my aversion to crunches) and "gab gab" (to express my interest in celebrity gossip). Although I could have lived without watching Scott Bakula's attempt at modern dance to bond with the deaf girl, (it was the sweeping hand motions that killed me), I think I took more from the episode than I lost. Which is why, despite my minor protestations, I can never really give up "Quantum Leap." It means too much to me. And, I'll just have to hope that my continued devotion to the show gives me greater insight into my life rather than paralyzing my ability to choose for myself. I light of what fine actors Scott Bakula and Dean Stockwell are, I think this is a risk I'm willing to take.