I Don't Feel Good About This

Friday afternoon, I decided to do a little shopping. As I was wandering through some stores not far from my house, I noticed that there was a sale on Madame Alexander dolls in one of the shops. Now, this might have intrigued me because I fondly remember Madame Alexander dolls from my childhood even though they were the dolls I was never actually allowed to play with, and we had to keep their original boxes so they wouldn't depreciate in value over the years. However, it is much more likely I was intrigued because there was a "sale," no matter what the actual sale item was, because I have horrendous spending habits and no ability to grasp the actual value of the paper in my wallet, what goes on my many plastic cards, and the worth of consumer goods and services. (My father dies a little on the inside every time I admit to this - and the fact that I don't actually balance my checkbook.) Well, as I was doing that, I noticed one particular doll in the glass case. And, I noticed her because she looked just like a hooker. I thought this was strange for 2 reasons: 1. Most parents prefer that their little girls not dress like/try to emulate/play with dolls that resemble women of the night and 2. These are Madame Alexander dolls for goodness sake! The most contemporary I thought Madame Alexander got was having a doll who's costume resembled a member of the Mickey Mouse Club. (And, I'm talking Annette Funicello Mouseketeer, certainly not the Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera Mickey Mouse Club.) This was bizarre. Upon closer inspection, I realized that hooker Madame Alexander was actually referred to as "Harley Davidson Girl." Although, I have to add that the choice of all leather to complete the "biker look" only meant that this particular doll looked more Dominatrix/S&M hooker than the more common torn fishnets and miniskirt street whore. And, as we all know, it's the common whores who might redeem themselves by having hearts of gold - not the Dominatrix. I can't help but wonder what went wrong during the planning and design stages to lead to such debauchery at the Lousia May Alcott-loving Madame Alexander headquarters. Was there a head injury? An unfortunately ill-timed maternity leave? Corporate sabotage? But, perhaps more importantly, why when the store decided to display sex-fiend Madame Alexander doll did they choose to place her next to the Pope and a U.N. translator/bell boy from one of those resorts in the third world where Europeans live it up, and everyone around the hotel suffers in abject poverty? Really - one of these things is not like the other, one of these things just doesn't belong... The pope and a hooker. In doll form. I just don't know what else to say.