Tuesday, May 09, 2006

A Helpful Hint

I have found yet another tenet of basic logic and normal human reasoning that I thought could go unstated, but apparently must be shared aloud: If Richard Karn tries to sway you away from your original "Family Feud" answer, for God's sake, listen. Here's what happened yesterday, during "The Biggest Losers Week." (No, this is not a reference to wait loss. It's much more appropriately named. Families that never won a game on the Feud get to come back for one more shot. Obviously, this should have been my first clue.) The question is "Name something people can't wait to do when they get to a party." The Mitchell family is playing and they've already taken "eat" and "drink" off the board. Mitchell Family Member #1: Meet someone! And, lo and behold, "Socialize/Mingle" is an answer. Mitchell Family Member #2: Get some phone numbers! Richard scrunches his face up a little as we all know getting phone numbers requires socializing and mingling, but the phrasing is so different, he leaves things alone. "Get some phone numbers" is not on the board. Mitchell Family Member #3: Meet up with someone! Now, this Richard must take issue with. RK: That's socialize and or mingle. I'll need another answer. Mitchell Family Member #3: No, I said "meet up with somebody." RK: Yes, "meet someone" has already been taken off the board. Mitchell Family Member #3: No, meet UP! Not meet. Ah, of course. How could I not have known that meeting up with someone and meeting someone were 2 entirely separate events? Yes, yes. Meeting "up" with someone implies that you already know them and made plans to meet, but just plain old meeting someone means that you probably didn't know each other before the party. This is brilliant. And, I'm sure in a survey of 100 normal people the subleties and nuances between the 2 were explored. There should certainly be 1 answer for socializing and mingling and another for meeting up. Richard gave Mitchell #3 a good long stare as if allowing reason to set in. After all, if, as the host, he's telling her that terrain has been covered, it seems he might know something she doesn't. Mitchell Family Member #3: Meet up! Meet up! (She chants while clapping for herself in a commonly recognized Feud move for assuring yourself and the audience of your answer. Even her family members half-heartedly join in the clapping although you can clearly tell Mitchell Family Member #1 is thinking, "I knew we shouldn't have brought that dumb bitch with us. When we were kids, she never could remember to keep her fingers out of the electrical sockets.") RK: Meet UP with someone! (Richard sighs as he turns to the big board and hangs his head.) And, as should be no surprise - it's a strike. I mean, really, what kind of pride/stupidity leads someone to stick with an answer even after the host of the show has clearly stated that that particular train of thought has been exhausted? It boggles the mind. And, I thought it was bad when Richard laughed directly in their faces upon hearing an answer. In short, should you ever find yourself on the Feud and Richard Karn thinks your first answer is a bad idea, pick something else, don't just try enunciating various parts of your original answer. You'll thank me when you and your near and dear are playing for the big money.