Allright, I'm going to say it. It may be a bit shocking, but it's true: I hate Matthew Modine. In fact, I have always hated Matthew Modine. I don't understand why he gets to be in movies. I hated him long before "The Real Blonde," which was not actually a movie but a poorly disguised attempt at human torture. (If you haven't seen "The Real Blonde," don't. Seriously. It involves a post-Showgirls Elizabeth Berkley. She stays clothed through the whole thing, which hardly matters, since after Showgirls I don't know how anyone can look at Elizabeth Berkeley and not see rampant nakedness. My brain puts a black bar over her no matter where she is as some sort of strange psychologically induced censor. It's weird.) And, as if it's not bad enough to make 1 horrible, going nowhere movie that takes itself too seriously and acts like it has something deep to say about relationships, he made "Le Divorce." "Le Divorce" people! Sucky movie that has the nerve to be even more pretentious and taking itself too seriously by putting a French article in the title. Note to Hollywood producers - that definitely stopped being cool when my grandmother gave up carrying her "Le Bag" tote in 1987. Matthew Modine couldn't even garner a lead role in that one. He was just creepy and seemingly unnecessary to the plot until the horrible "twist" of an ending. Ugh. I hated him back in the days of "Gross Anatomy," when for awhile he had gained some measure of esteem and popularity. Matthew Modine learning life lessons from Christine Lahti?!?! I cannot tell a lie. In my private hell, their scenes together in that movie play on loop (with occasional interjections of the scenes between William Hurt and Christine Lahti in "The Doctor." William Hurt is Matthew Modine with more boredom but also slightly more talent.) while jackals feed on my intestines and I am incapable of finding a good hairdresser....for eternity. My point? Matthew Modine is the star of "The Bedford Diaries." And, while I expect to loathe "The Bedford Diaries," I also expect to love to hate it. As we well know, I love bad tv more than good tv, and USA Today says that "The Bedford Diaries" is the worst ever. (Obviously not a direct quote. I paraphrased their review into teen girl.) I'm concerned, though, that my disdain for Matty will keep even me from hating more than loving to hate. Oh, the cruel hand of fate. Why did Matthew Modine's ill-timed attempt to return to the screen have to be as pathetic as this?