No Wonder it Takes me so Long to get Ready in the Morning

There used to be a time when I would tell people, all breezy and whatnot, "I am so not superstitious. All of that stuff is just silly." That time was long ago. And, while I might not necessarily be a crazy superstitious person, I do stick to a few tried and true rules: 1. I always knock on wood should I say something where it seems like God might smite me in the next few moments for such grandeur or presumption, i.e. "I've never been in a bad car wreck" or "Gee, having a knee injury must suck. I'm so glad I have such good health." Of course, I also knock on wood for the less dire pronouncements that still involve my seeming much too sure of myself (after all, what are expectations for if not to be dashed in horrific and painful ways?), i.e. "He promised he would call, and he is such a nice guy." (Sidebar: Apparently I'm having way too much fun with the italics option today. Oh well, I guess we'll blame this zaniness of mine on the fact that it's Friday.) 2. If I spill salt, I throw it over my left shoulder. Sure, this one was difficult to keep up with when I waited tables and regularly had to refill the salt and pepper shakers, (I got very little hand/eye coordination people), but I kept at it to avoid the aforementioned smiting by God or some other you-must-maintain-the carefully-balanced-order-of-the-universe-induced-catastrophe. After all, if spilling salt doesn't destin you to boils or an apartment break-in, I don't know what does. 3. Black cats...Creepy...Not for me... And, in my adherence to old wives' tales and superstition, I believe that I have good and bad luck outfits. Now, most people have a lucky article of clothing - a shirt you always wear on job interviews, "good date" underwear, etc. I have a t-shirt that virtually guarantees I will meet a cute boy. (And, shockingly, it is an actual t-shirt and not some sort of backless, held together with safety pins, hope, and a willingness to forego my integrity, clubbing shirt that you would expect to attract attention.) I also have a shirt that pretty much insures that I will be dumped in some highly public way or catch a boyfriend cheating. (The simple solution here would be to throw the cursed shirt away, and yet, I still think it's really cute. I suppose I've screwed myself over on this one, but, what can I say? Hope springs eternal. In truth, that phrase is the only explanation for why I continue to date despite the past four years of my romantic life.) Anyway, my point is this: I'm wearing a bad luck dress today. I have only worn this dress once, and I got red wine all over it (a fairly common occurrence) and got into a huge emotional fight with the guy that I was dating at the time that led to me crying and being unable to sleep for two days afterwards. (Gee, I wonder which part of that scenario led me to deem this dress "bad luck"?) In short, not good. But, when I saw it in the closet this morning, I thought, "Why not? It's been a year. I'll throw caution to the wind." (Yes, sadly, for my vigilant self, wearing a "bad luck" article of clothing is akin to living life on the edge. Not so much a risk taker here.) And, since I'm not dating anyone right now, it seemed safe to bring it out. After all, the potential for romantic disasters seems low. But, then, of course, because I am a superstitious person (and mildly not well), I realized that acknowledging the bad luck dress and then daring to think that all would be well was just asking for trouble. After all, doesn't every difficult day begin with "This won't take too long..." and every disaster start with "Could this day be more perfect?" or "There's no reason to worry. This is the safest ship in the world..."? So, I'm pretty tense today. I ask you all to send positive energy my way. And, for the second time this week, to forgive my severe neuroses.