Buyer Beware

This evening (yes, this evening, I work late now which is kind of an unsettling phenomenon in my world - especially when it makes me miss my weekly date with Hugh Laurie), I got into an argument with a co-worker as to who has the worse apartment. Apparently, he thought he had me beat because somehow my hardwood floors were such an improvement over his carpeted ones despite my list of complaints that includes an unattractive bricked-in fireplace, textured, brown bathroom walls that actually resemble poop, and a very inconvenient lack of hot water. Luckily, that false sense of victory only lasted until he heard my trump card. As soon as I mentioned the slanting floors - and, by "slanting," I'm talking about a slope that actually prevents me from putting glassware or other valuables on tables or shelves for fear that they will immediately slide off to the floor - he conceded. But, somehow this minor triumph doesn't do a lot for me as I'm sitting in the possibly-in-need-of-condemnation hovel I call home.