Unsettling Discoveries

Truth be told - I'm bothered today. First of all, there really are very few marketing and advertising campaigns that actually bug me. Do I like the commercial for "Head On," the headache cure you literally rub on your head, that just repeats the phrase "Head on, apply directly to the forehead"? No, but once I change the channel, I'm free. Do I think it's right that the people behind the Lunesta butterfly have much, much more money than me? Not necessarily, but I can deal. However, the jingle "get your fash' on" fills me with rage. Whether it is in Old Navy ads or being sung about in something related to J. C. Penney or Sear's, I just can't stand it. I want it to go away. And, even more so than that, I want it to be erased from my memory. "Get your fash' on"?!?! I can only conclude that this was once a bad joke that somehow got out of hand. And, last night, just as I was cringing from one of these Old Navy commercials, I saw a preview for tonight's episode of "The New Adventures of Old Christine," and I hit upon the second matter that is weighing on my mind today. Scott Bakula (Do I need to mention of "Quantum Leap" fame? After all, it was more of a gift to the world than just a television show...) will be guest-starring on Julia Louis-Dreyfus' show this evening, and it seems that he has somehow decided it's ok to have shoulder-length hair in his middle age. This does not sit well with me. I love Scott so much that this kind of criticism is painful for me, but I'm hoping that through our conflict we can reach a greater level of closeness. Oh, Sam/Scott - Why would you do this to me? It is not alright to have long hair past the age of 35 unless you are Willie Nelson. And, it is certainly not alright to live most of your life with short hair but then grow it out in middle age. This is why people mock mid-life crises. Are hair plugs next? Is there a poorly decorated loft with a futon in your future? The sports car with a vanity plate? Insisting you're going to chuck it all for culinary school? I beg you, Scott - cut the hair and get back to making sure the "Quantum Leap" reunion movie gets aired sometime before the end of 2007. I don't want to put conditions on my love, but these two little things would make me so happy. And, it's all about making each other happy, right?