More on the Thunder-Stealers

If ever there was proof that a certain "religion" must be a bar bet that got way out of hand, and L. Ron Hubbard is laughing his ass off from somewhere beyond the grave, let's examine the much-publicized-of-late wedding vows: "girls need clothes and food and tender happiness and frills, a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat" While I am willing to get behind clothes, food, tender happiness, and a comb, I'm not sure what the "frills" are unless that's an antiquated way of saying "diamonds and Marc Jacobs" (in which case, hell yes), but if "frills" has anything to do with doilies, very small buttons, or accessories that would impede my drinking, then that's a big NO. As for a pan and a cat - well, those are just silly. Don't get me wrong, but wasn't L. Ron Hubbard born in the twentieth century? Therefore, I assume he learned to talk pretty much the same way the rest of us did. I mean, it's not like these Scientology texts date back centuries. It seems to me that someone (L. Ron, I mean you) was trying to make himself sound smarter than the rest of us, and doesn't realize that he really comes off as being a bit pretentious and sounding more like the friend you grew up with who picked up a fake accent after a week of watching too much BBC America on extended cable but told everyone else that they "couldn't help it" when they were "exposed to new cultures." I think I might rather go through a silent birth than have to watch an over-priced wedding video of me standing near five or six of my satin-clad friends as I promised to "remember his follies."