My Confession

I could have been disappointed last night. After all, Sunday is usually my "Cold Case"night, and I don't like it when I can't watch "Cold Case." (I like blending the fictional closure of their cases with the close to my week. It completes me.) So, the fact that "Cold Case" wasn't on last night could have really bugged me. But, fortunately, "Cold Case" wasn't being shown for one of my other greatest guilty pleasures - the Hallmark made-for-television movie. Sure, I usually can't find the raping, stalking, abusing men of my Lifetime choices, but, there's something to the heartwarming cheesiness of their stories that just kills me. If I can't have a murderous secretary out to steal her boss' job and man, I want a disheartened widower who learns to love again or an emotionally scarred old maid who finds peace in caring for an orphaned child. Plus, as a crier, there is rarely anything that offers me as much catharsis as a Hallmark movie. You don't even want to know how much tissue I went through when Rosie O'Donnell played the mentally handicapped woman who just wanted to ride the bus. And, as we all know, a crier tears up over both the commercials and the movie. So, in the spirit of the season, I will now share with you my favorite Hallmark commercial. The shot opens in the Principal's office of a high school. A young brunette girl is sitting in a chair in front of the desk and asks why she's been called into the office. The principal, an older woman who looks like one of those "loving on the inside/tough on the outside" ladies, hands the girl a card. The girl opens up the card, reads it, and says, "You're proud of me?" The principal nods and then tells the girls she needs to get back to class. Now, I'm sure that you're thinking that up until this point, this commercial sounds like the most boring thing in the world. A principal who's proud of a student - how bland. But, as the teenager is leaving, the principal looks up and says, "Now, Laurel, don't forget to close the door behind you." Maybe it was my mood. Maybe it was the lowered defenses created by the movie. Maybe I was having a low self-esteem day, but I'm slightly embarrassed to admit that I felt like Hallmark and fate were talking directly to me that night. I was a little overcome, and I cried - a lot. In fact, I kind of creepily hoped that they'd show that same commercial again last night just so I could have another one of my mildly pathetic, warm, fuzzy moments. What can I say? I'm sick, and that gold crown really is something special.