Please Pardon my Gloating

This probably doesn't need to be said, but I got very little from my devotion to Anna Nicole Smith's reality series, "The Anna Nicole Show." I did realize what an unhealthy attachment to one's pet was, who not to hire as an interior decorator (answer: Bobby Trendy), and why what happens in Vegas should stay in Vegas, but there certainly wasn't a lot I could share with my friends or bring up over Thanksgiving dinner. But, today changed everything. I can now say that countless, often unfortunate, hours of Anna Nicole Smith voyeurism led to this moment - I told you so! I knew that Anna Nicole's lawyer, Howard K. Stern, was in love with her. And, I knew that they were making out when the cameras weren't rolling. (Ask my friend, Josh. We were convinced.) And, now that Howard K. Stern has announced that he is the father of her new baby daughter, I feel gloriously vindicated. I feel right and a bit smug, and I always like being right. Sure, the cost was high, but these fleeting moments of superiority sure are fun. Like I said, I knew it all along.