Tough Choices: The Princess Diaries

Now, there are questions in life that I'd need to take my time answering: What do you think would be the best course of action in Iraq? How should the justice system cope with repeat sex offenders? Who made the better Becky on "Roseanne"? Will that be light or regular cream cheese?

But, the one question I know that I could answer without any hesitation is this one: Are you ready to be Queen?

Seriously, that one only needs two words - the first being "hell," and the second being "yes."

I tend to think that's the one role I've been preparing for all my life. Sure, my "preparation" didn't involve any sort of actual grooming for the position like I'm sure they do in Monaco or Norway, but I certainly have skills that translate. I like bossing people around. I like gowns and parties. I love tiaras. I can stand on a balcony and wave. Really, the fact that I have yet to be named the figurehead leader of a small European monarchy is beyond me.

Yet, every movie that deals with queens (and, of course, the movies I'm referring to don't have Helen Mirren as the star, I'm definitely in the Anne Hathaway/Julia Stiles terrain here) seems to end up revolving around a makeover sequence, a love interest and the question of whether or not the female protagonist is capable of being the queen. In both "The Princess Diaries" and "The Prince and Me," it seems to me that there's a lot of whining and even, dare I say, resentment of being asked to take on the princess/queen role, and this is something that I just can't understand.

Trade in my life of cramped office space, dirty apartment living and a dangerously low checking account balance for a castle and some servants? That really would be "living the dream." (As opposed to how I now use "living the dream," which usually also involves an eye roll and a heavy sigh while staring at the multiple spreadsheets piled on my desk every morning.)

Let's just say that the next time Anne Hathaway, Julia Stiles or any other twenty-something doesn't feel up to the job of royalty, I'm more than happy to step in.

I don't foresee a problem rising to the occasion.